felsiq

!buildapc@lemmy.world would be a good place to crosspost for more answers

But my experience with being cisgendered is one of feeling like my spirit would belong wherever it was born to. I identify as a man and would feel out of place in a woman’s body, but if I had been born into a woman’s body I would feel out of place in a man’s. That’s my mental picture of what being cisgendered is.

This is something I struggled with as well, but the more I look into it the more convinced I am that (at least for me personally) feeling this way is simply an indication that I’m agender and just lacking any meaningful dysphoria or reason to act on it.
The way I understand it now is that truly cisgender people actually identify with their assigned gender in a way that I can’t really relate to, but that I see trans people describe as gender euphoria. My own experience is very much what you described, where I identify as male simply because that’s what I was assigned and it doesn’t (really) bother me, and it’s helped me conceptualize dysphoria a lot better to understand that my disconnect isn’t with “wrong gender” but simply with “gender” at all.

I’m not saying the only reason you could struggle to relate the same way I do is not being cis, but maybe you’d benefit the way I did from reading about being agender?

Oh okay I misunderstood then, that’s exactly my experience with written smut as well (to the extent I forget it exists outside of stories with established characters lol). Thanks!

There was something I wanted to say in response to your original question, but I forgot it because I was too impressed with your emotional maturity and self-awareness in your responses

I might edit this or comment again if I remember, but for now I just wanted to say I really admire you for that :)

This is really interesting to hear, because I think I also have some level of aphantasia (I never picture anything while reading or normal thinking, but if I really try I can think simple images) but I like written erotica just as much if not more than visual stuff.

Do you mind if I ask what level of aphantasia you have, and/or if you think that’s related?

Idk if this fully explains the weird taboo you described, but I’m personally reluctant to ask people questions I know they must get all the time. It can get annoying/draining fielding the same questions from every second person even if they’re mostly well-meaning, so especially in cases where people can’t just not reveal the attribute/hobby/whatever I’m curious about I just try to remember the question to look up later.

Not sure how common that is, but if that’s the cause then what you’ve done with this post is the ideal way to bypass this hesitation imo; just being clear (even just from the context) that you’re choosing to talk about this and not just feeling pressured to explain would make the difference at least for me personally.

Anyway idk if this is relevant at all for you, but if it is I hope it helps :)

Listening to that voice clip I think you sound very femme, and not just in your voice itself but your speech patterns. Like if you removed all tone hints from your voice and made me guess guy/girl I’d guess girl with no hesitation even tho I can’t pinpoint exactly why - is that something you taught yourself consciously, or is it just kinda a natural product of being a woman in western culture?

Also you said in the voice clip you wanted impressions, not sure if you still care given that was four months ago but I hear your voice as a woman in her 20s, maybe early 30s? I’m not great at guessing ages even when I’m standing in front of someone tho, so take that with a grain of salt lol

Anyway thank you for doing this Q&A, I always love to see new perspectives on the trans experience!