hi, so i recently discovered im more left wing (democratic) than right wing (republican), but im still not the most politically correct. earlier today we were discussing abortion and i said i felt bad for the women who the anti abortion people affect, but my friend corrected me and said i meant “people who get pregnant”, because men (like trans men but still men) can get pregnant. and not all women get pregnant so it doesnt affect them. she said it gently but i feel like an ass</3
Lefty here. I have a queer wife who identifies as non-binary but still identifies as my wife, as well as plenty of trans and queer people in my social circles, and I don’t see the need to word police myself over completely innocent phrases. I don’t think you’re harming anyone by just saying women, when the men or nonbinary people who can get pregnant constitute like a tenth of a percentage of the population.
I go out of my way to make sure the not-straight people in my life feel safe and comfortable around me, but there’s a certain level of pearl clutching over language that I don’t feel the need to engage with. You aren’t being hateful, you’re treating people like human beings, and you get to decide for yourself how you speak.
I mostly agree with this. Your word choice doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’ by some random definition of that. When a friend makes a request like yours did, as long as it seems reasonable, then I think its worth putting an effort into accommodating it however.
I tend to not be overly concerned with how random strangers think I should speak, but I want those around me that I care about to feel heard and cared about.
There’s definitely middle ground to be found, and decency to exercise.