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supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 days ago

RFK Jr. Claims Anti-Protein Extremists Left Head Of Lettuce On His Doorstep

theonion.com

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RFK Jr. Claims Anti-Protein Extremists Left Head Of Lettuce On His Doorstep

theonion.com

supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 days ago
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WASHINGTON—Saying his advocacy for consuming animal products had painted a target on his back, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed Monday that anti-protein extremists had left a head of lettuce on his doorstep. “Yesterday morning when my wife went out to get the paper, she discovered a gruesome threat left by […]
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  • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    I eat the Onion every time they involve RFK. He’s just too far out there, he could do or say anything.

    • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyzOP
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      1 day ago

      You need emergency KFR pills!

  • Eternal192@anarchist.nexus
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    2 days ago

    That’s too healthy for him, he could have died, what were they thinking doing something so dangerous!

    • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyzOP
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      2 days ago

      green is the color of EVIL!!!

    • Milksteaks [he/him]@midwest.social
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      2 days ago

      Hes gotta wash off the taint of that lettuce by swimming in some sewage filled water with his grandkids

      • thlibos@thelemmy.club
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        1 day ago

        He’s going to snort some beef protein isolate off of a toilet, now.

  • hector@lemmy.today
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    I didn’t see this was the onion, presumed this was real, it sounds real, not the dumest sounding thing that happened today either.

  • thlibos@thelemmy.club
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    I am so sick of anti-protein extremists!

    • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyzOP
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      1 day ago

      I hate those APEs!!

  • Gobo@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    This is good luck for Chinese New Year

    • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyzOP
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      2 days ago

      Didn’t we put Tariffs on those though?

  • RedWeasel@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Somebody, make this true. LOL.

  • Linktank@lemmy.today
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    2 days ago

    Maybe if they ran it over first he would like it.

    Or if it was a head of whale instead?

    • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyzOP
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      2 days ago

      The fact that your comment is NOT completely nonsense is mindboggling.

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