Mine:
- Learn a second language and keep up with the language your parents speak. You will regret being a brat about not wanting to speak this language especially as your family members pass.
- The only opinions about you that really matter are from the people you respect and who respect you back
- Being a kind humble person, who leads their political convictions with curiosity and not self righteousness is important. As that one person said: “I am no hero and neither are you.”
- Don’t throw out your old media (mix cds, tapes, records, photos, zinee, etc) because you think they’re embarrassing. They either will not be embarrassing later or they will become expensive and you can tell them for mad bucks.
Don’t get too attached to anything.
Don’t let your curiosity fade
Maintain open minded compassion for those different from you
Never be fully convinced you understand the best way to do anything
In disputes between the affected and the unaffected give added weight to the most affected
Learn to recognize a moral panic, and even if you have concerns related to it don’t join in. It’s the group dynamic equivalent of spiraling and catastrophizing.
Don’t drink your calories unless you want to gain weight
My advice would be not to listen to advice people on the internet give you.
Does anyone have advice specific to adhd or neurodivergence in general? Things you found helped you that took time to realise?
Exercise and eating right actually do help. It’s just really hard to do without meds for me
It seems obvious now, but it took me too long to realize I don’t have issues focusing on things, I just have a hard time focusing on things I’m not interested in. I was a terrible student in grade school and took some time off after I graduated before going to university. That time away allowed me to mature and gain the discipline I needed to get through the stuff I wasn’t interested in. I then breezed through my major because I loved it.
Don’t spend as much energy on trying to improve the things that you’re bad at. Figure out your strengths and lean into them.
If you have ADHD, get medicated. While it’s no replacement for good habits, it makes starting those good habits SO much easier. I wish I had started taking it 15 years sooner.
If you also have ASD, a lot of people aren’t going to understand you. The way you view the world is different. Be kind and be true to yourself and you’ll meet lots of people who appreciate your difference.
Spending time being doing nothing actually helps your focus later, boredom is good for you and actually promotes creativity.
Don’t multitask, you’ll just end up half-assing every task.
If you have the means, see a psychologist who specializes working with people who are neurodivergent. It will greatly improve your communication skills. If you’re in a serious relationship, get couples counseling even if things are going great. This will help you break down any communication barriers before they have the opportunity to become resentment.
I could keep adding to this list, but having an exercise routine is probably one of the best things I did to improve my focus. Plus I also get the long term health benefits of strength training.
Don’t buy your wife a wide vase. Just get her a normal sized one. Otherwise you’ll have to buy twice as many flowers for the rest of your marriage.
Dont do any drugs harder then psychedelics. But especially dont do opiates and benzos. I would rate opiates, besides, and alcohol as the worst drugs to use.
Yes I am an alcoholic, but I avoided the other two. Honestly wish i had access to clean cocaine because id probably prefer that over drinking. Saving opiates for my elder years because im sure I will be hurting alot by then and will need them.
However, its your body. You choose. Heck the rules. Isn’t it obvious the rules never mattered? Some think it is a recent phenomenon, but we are only being publicly informed. it has always been true. Oh the slaves are free? Guess they are prisoners now (slaves).
Opiate addict I talked to said your body was never meant to feel that good. That stuff wrecked my brother (a different addict).
There’s usually more than 1 way to do something.
Sometimes people get caught up on wanting to do it the best way, and then they just dont do it at all.
If there’s an easier, less ideal, maybe slightly more wasteful way to do something, and its the difference between doing it or not, just do it that way and dont get hung up on perfection if the alternative is not getting it done.
If its something that needs to be built into a habit, it might be enough to get you started, and then maybe you can move on to the better way in the future.
Edit: just to clarify, often times the outcome is the same but people get caught up on the how vs just getting it done. Don’t get caught up on the best how if there’s another way that’ll also work that you will find easier to do.
It’s way easier getting in shape young. Don’t put it off.
Educate yourself, and question everything. No one is worth following blindly. If you don’t understand the “why” of something, keep digging until you do. Critically thinking is the most valuable skill you can have, so develop it as much as you can.
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People are the most suspicious of the behavior they are most guilty of. The guy who thinks everyone is stealing from him, is probably stealing from everybody else. If it’s your boss, keep an eye on your paycheck. The person who always thinks their person is cheating on them, is probably a cheater. People do this because they’re trying to excuse they’re own behavior - “I only do it because everyone else is doing it to me,” even if they aren’t.
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Commit to doing something difficult, even if it’s just a hobby, like running, working out, playing a musical instrument, writing, painting, learning a language, cooking, reading classic novels, birdwatching, etc. Having something that’s important to you, and investing deeply into it, will fulfill your soul, and give you something good to hang onto when times get tough. And they will get tough. And don’t tolerate people around you who dismiss or are disrespectful about it. It’s important to YOU, that’s all that matters. Their validation is irrelevant.
The first point is not just true for the guilty, but also their victims. Once burned, twice shy.
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Never, ever stop asking why
1.) If you think you’d be happier living somewhere else, start putting things into motion now. Moving is hard, but it’s harder when you’re older.
2.) If you’re depressed, working out will not make your depression worse. It’s supposed to help. Give it a shot. Don’t forget.
3.) Don’t have kids.
4.) Don’t date people that you think are dumb, even if they’re incredibly attractive.
Absolutely second the don’t have kids. Best decision I made in life.
I absolutely agree that many people should not have kids, and nobody should feel pressured to do so, and everybody should think twice before they do if it really is what they want and they are ready for that.
But as “general advice”? Sorry, but this is ridiculous.
Saying this as a fucking exhausted parent of a baby. It is hard, but absolutely no regrets here.
Of course if you value your own free time and activities above everything else, then yes, definitely please do not have kids. There will be no time for anything but baby care and the bare minimum household maintenance for a long time.
When I was born, there were 4 billion people in the world.
There are now over 8 billion.
That means in just my lifetime, there are twice as many humans on Earth.
I 100% feel the planet is over populated, and that it is a major factor in issues we face today.
I absolutely think people should be encouraged not to have children.
There is plenty of space and resources to go around. The problem is the 1% dumping all waste in the ocean so they can buy more boats.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Sunscreen would be it
but as much effort as you can into math. There is the common trope about it being useless and that is I think due to peoples misunderstanding of it. Math is mental abstraction. Math problems are like excersise. No on complains push ups have not real world value. Its understood that doing them gets your body in better shape to do physical things. Similarly math helps your mind be in better shape to do mental things. Unfortunately you don’t really do it after you are no longer in school so its not bad to try and use it whenever you can. Add your purchases up in your head and try and figure out price per quantity and compare products. do suduko. Also grab elementary logic if you can as it gives a math like framework for reason.
This life has no meaning. Absolutely none. Do what you enjoy. You don’t need a “purpose,” grind culture is toxic and will only lead to burnout. Slow down and listen to the birds sing.
What’s your advice for younger folks? Nihilism!
I think Absurdism
Optimistic Nihilism, is quite a good philosophical framework.
But I would recommend a mixture of optimistic nihilism and stoicism.
If nothing has any inherent meaning, the things you chose to be meaningful are as valid as any other choice.
If you take nihilism far enough, you loop back around to absurdism instead. And that’s where things go from “why bother? Nothing matters so what is the point” to “why not? Nothing matters so I might as well enjoy life.”
do you think that you should do what you enjoy at the expense of another person? like (in an extreme example) to harm/assault/ hurt someone because you enjoy it?
I think hedonism is important, but it comes at a cost. The candle the burns twice as bright and all that. At the same time if you never fuck around, you’ll never find out.
I think far too often young people go through life thinking they already know who they are, instead of treating life as an opportunity to find out who they are. They become calcified, ossified in their beliefs about their own identity, a constant and repeated telling themselves of who they are in an effort to believe these things.
An alternative approach is to try to break down who you are, repeatedly and continuously. To try new things, to change the situation. Leave a city without warning and move somewhere you don’t know the language. Abandon your belongings, your phone, your identity and start over. Change the situation entirely. Begin to understand what is you and what is the world. If you move from place to place, and you find yourself always confronted by the same types of people, maybe you are seeing a reflection of something you are bringing with you from place to place.
There is a very western identity of “knowing” who you are while simultaneously having done no exploration of who that person might be. I find it very curious.
In regard to the second paragraph, I am very much a metaphoric horse who will not even be led to water, let alone drink. This has, unsurprisingly led to a great many humbling moments in my life. In regards to those who “know themselves”, those who are most sure are those least humbled. Even if misfortune never visits you, always question yourself, your actions, and your intentions. You will find insights by doing this as a mindful part of your life.
Super interesting perspective. Thank you!
I don’t know why you are being downvoted. This is an excellent question. Personally, no, but that’s because I feel empathy towards other people and enjoy cooperation/community.
However, imagine if you were born without empathy or even enjoyed hurting others. Does that make you a bad person? Our society would certainly see it that way. You would be ostracized/incarcerated for not being the same as others because you enjoy hurting people. But does that make your existence wrong? I don’t think so. To be honest I don’t think there is such a thing as wrong and right, just selfish and selfless behaviors.
All this to say, I would say no and certainly don’t condone it, but if you ask someone else they may say yes. Who is to say that either one of us is right?
Thank you for this response!
Ah…, the conundrums of subjective morality.
there is infact good and bad actions. and there is a meaning to life.
But who defines them? If there is no god to determine that then that belief is entirely subjective. What one person views as good will be bad to another. How do you determine who is right?
Civilization and cooperation are intrinsic. The rules of human cooperation dictate rules of behaving. You do not require a god to establish murder and hording of resources and sexual violence as bad. They are defined as malum in sae for reason, in law.
Community sets the rules, adjudication, and punishment regardless of the inspiration of the rule. A god can provide a framework but people can do it too.
there is god,the islamic one.
Well, I’m afraid that’s where we diverge in beliefs then. With a god it is perfectly reasonable to believe that, but without one it’s not.
i accept disagreement. we can agree to disagree or we can debate. whatever you want
