WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing squads as a means of entertainment. “For too long, weak-on-fun Democrats have prevented our country from exercising this beloved tradition of murdering for enjoyment,” said acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, claiming […]
Damn, I didn’t know that they’ve been around that long.
Their “holy shit, man walks on fucking moon” is also a classic
My sweet summer child, I’ve been reading The Onion since I was in college in the mid 90s