It’s so hard to pick just one. They all have their moments.

…except Miss Piggy, who has always annoyed me beyond measure.

Shit. I’ve been conned.

I did it. Elvis paid me to.

I’ve worked with two people who were homeschooled. Both were smart, but well behind in their social development. And just very odd, off-putting people. When one of them wanted your attention, he’d just stand there silently waiting for you to notice him. Sometimes you’d turn around and there he was. The other proudly announced in a staff meeting that he was going to appear in a porn movie.

Five days without food. I had a bout of gastritus (damage to the stomach lining) and never once felt hungry during that time. I was going about my normal routine and felt completely normal otherwise. Kinda surprised by that.

It hurt to lose 1899 just when things were getting interesting.

Genre-wise, I’d call it dieselpunk.

Barry Hughart’s tales of Master Li Kao and Number Ten Ox. There are three books in the series, but he originally planned more. I believe he had some issues with his publisher and gave up on writing the follow-ups. Shame, because it’s my favourite fantasy series.

I don’t think cloning a human would be much harder than a sheep.

The wheel of Time

Seriously. I gave up on that series at book 5 when the author hadn’t resolved a single major plot point yet.

I saw a duck steal a woman’s wallet.

It was hanging around her feet while she ate lunch, obviously hoping for some crumbs. She ignored it and it started poking its beak through her handbag. I saw it come up with the wallet, then start to waddle slowly away as she stood and took up her bag to walk off. The exterior doors on that side of the building were locked, so I couldn’t get her attention to let her know what was going on. I wonder what she thinks happened to her wallet?

Many people with tinnitus find that if they place their palms over their ears so that their index fingers touch behind their head, and then tap the bone there repeatedly with their index fingers, they gain some temporary relief.

I don’t know if you have tinnitus, but I figure it can’t hurt to know this. I’m not qualified to give life advice.

I was on the edge of my seat watching Adam try to get rid of a bomb.

My friends and family always mock me

they’re gagging and crying from the heat.

Take their wallets while they can’t resist and mock those weaklings right back.

Yes, this has happened to me. The woman in question was at the time under investigation by HR for bullying her direct reports, so she was probably trying to smooth things over with her previous victims. Didn’t help her.

I have found that most kiwis care more about a person’s personality, manners, and contribution more than skin colour.

Not gonna lie, I judge the shit out of people who block both sides of the supermarket aisle.

affordable food

I think we fail this criterion at every level. 😒

Not all. And their search tool lets you look for non-DRM books.

big deal out of nothing

Yes, I realise what I did there. No, I’m not changing it.

As a tiny kitten, she was fascinated by the drawstring on my shorts. One day she launched herself at it, intending to kill the tiny prey creature, and found herself hanging from claws inserted into the vulnerable flesh underneath. Very important vulnerable flesh. I tried to scream, but couldn’t draw breath.

My wife insists that I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but how could she understand? I felt that injury for weeks afterwards.

“Do not wash hands with boiling water”

During my time there, two people broke the rule.