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You are amazing, all the self control of Donald Trump with the charismatic charm of Mark Zuckerburg.
You look like you trust politicians/newspapers/AI
You think that streamer likes you
Your brain could revolve around inside a peanut shell without ever touching the sides
You have a head full of vacuous nothings that occasionally leak out of your mouth
(To name a few that I enjoy)
I have neither the crayons nor the inclination to explain it to you.
Stealing this
“If she was a spice, she would be flour” - Louise Belcher
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
What does this even mean
“Your mom is a hoe and your dad is an alcoholic.”
Explanation
Hamsters have a lot of random sex and elderberries can be fermented into wine.
(You DO need Fr*nch accent to make this insult work tho)
It means their quest to seek the Holy Grail is likely doomed. And besides, we’ve already got one.
Beat me to it
I work with an older lady who hits people with “you’re so pretty” when they do or ask something stupid and I love it.
I first saw this used by Hugh Hefner in some reality TV show with some of his bimbos in Venice. One of them said how cool it was to be where Al Capone was born and he responded with, “You’re so pretty.” Of course, she absolutely took the compliment at face value.
Lmao, it did took a while for me to register
I saw one here the other day calling someone a soup fork. I’ve been using that for people who are completely useless.
I’ve also heard “wind sandwich.”
Soup sandwich is another
I’ve heard that!
I love how you don’t let facts influence your opinion.
The classic southern “Bless your heart”
It’s really hard to underestimate you.
Ohhh, I like this one. Commited to permanent memory.
I can read it to you all day but unfortunately I cannot understand it for you.
Chuckle and as you walk away, and under your breath but just loud enough to hear, say “eyebrows” in a way that sounds like you were amused and thinking about how it amused you. They will think about that for years, as I have been
I bite my thumb at you.
YES.
I bite my thumb, but not at thee. Yet! I do bite my thumb!
There’s a great artist that sells stuff at our local ren-faire; I bought a fridge magnet that says “I saw thee, and thought my day unwell.” It’s illuminated like an old manuscript and depicts a slim greyhound tossing his cookies.
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
