cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/lemmyshitpost/p/1267336/the-uk-government-has-announced-mandatory-eye-covers-for-teens-under-17-aiming-to-protec
cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/shit/p/1267334/the-uk-government-has-announced-mandatory-eye-covers-for-teens-under-17-aiming-to-protec
spoiler
Satire
Inspired by UK banning teenagers from social media, asking them for their ID to browse the internet and forbidding them from drinking energy drinks.
There’s got to be something between coddling children on the one hand, and just letting the worst businesses on Earth freely prey upon them unhindered.
No no that requires thoughtful policy which means less time sitting in the heavily subsidised bar in the Houses of Parliament.
Whatever you suggest, I would say that putting the guilt onto the shoulders of the minors, rather than the companies producing an exploitative product, is the wrong move.
But, as ever, it’s easier to control the proletariat than the rampant oligarch class.
I know we’re on the Onion but surely in this instance it’d be better to ban social media from children rather than ban children from social media; if you get my drift.
True, but that would put the burden on multi billion dollar international conglomerates who can reasonably be expected to be able to do anything about it.
Can’t be making such demands of the people handing out legal bribes to the legislators, of course, so we’re gonna have to go with a solution that’s
- difficult to impossible to comply with,
- places an unnecessary and unfair burden on people who are not at fault in the form of time, effort, and possibly money
- unlikely to solve the problems we claim it’s necessary for
- guaranteed to volatile civil liberties, including suppression of legal dissent and cutting off people from necessary information
It’s the capitalist authoritarian way!
I’ll stick with my Joo Janta 200 Peril Sensitive Glasses thanks.
Who said that?! 🕶️
this is bad satire in the sense that it’s buying the idea that this has anything to do with protecting children. even if we square off the whole mandatory iD for everybody who uses the internet bit and just focus on the children, this is absolutely the UK yet again leading the fight against distain for the youth because they’re young. they oughta play in the streets like I did when I came back from campaign market garden in 1965 at which point I want the police to beat them up for impeding car traffic
This must be an Onion/Black Mirror crossover episode.
Kids these days…
I still have my state-provided bucket of sand. Learning to appreciate the scratchy eyes prepared you for the real world.
