cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/lemmyshitpost/p/1267336/the-uk-government-has-announced-mandatory-eye-covers-for-teens-under-17-aiming-to-protec
cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/shit/p/1267334/the-uk-government-has-announced-mandatory-eye-covers-for-teens-under-17-aiming-to-protec
spoiler
Satire
Inspired by UK banning teenagers from social media, asking them for their ID to browse the internet and forbidding them from drinking energy drinks.


I know we’re on the Onion but surely in this instance it’d be better to ban social media from children rather than ban children from social media; if you get my drift.
True, but that would put the burden on multi billion dollar international conglomerates who can reasonably be expected to be able to do anything about it.
Can’t be making such demands of the people handing out legal bribes to the legislators, of course, so we’re gonna have to go with a solution that’s
It’s the capitalist authoritarian way!