WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing squads as a means of entertainment. “For too long, weak-on-fun Democrats have prevented our country from exercising this beloved tradition of murdering for enjoyment,” said acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, claiming […]
The onion is just a crystal ball at this point
Been that way since they did Bush’s inauguration speech. He didn’t accomplish everything the Onion mentioned, but he sure tried.
Damn, I didn’t know that they’ve been around that long.
Their “holy shit, man walks on fucking moon” is also a classic
I knew which article you linked before I even clicked it. Do you think that onion writers discovered the secrets to time travel, but are only able to reveal what they know through satire due to convoluted time travel rules? That’s obviously the only rational explanation.
it’s not time travel. If you just listen to Republicans, they’ll gleefully explain the nightmare world they want to create. All the Onion did was treat it as a threat rather than fantasy.