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WASHINGTON—Alarmed at the prospect of unconstitutional overreach by the Trump administration, millions of fearful Americans have already begun stockpiling facts before the federal government comes to take them away, sources confirmed Friday. “I know my rights as an American, so you’d better believe I’m getting my hands on as many facts as possible and keeping them somewhere safe where this First Amendment–hating president of ours can’t snatch them all up,” said Pittsburgh resident David Edelman, 38, adding that he was worried that President Trump planned to not only suspend production of facts, but also seize existing ones, leaving Americans and their families completely defenseless. “The minute I saw Trump, I knew he was someone who didn’t grow up around facts or the kind of folks who use facts. Well, the founding fathers cherished my right to possess facts, and they’d be rolling in their graves if they knew the Feds were going to bust in and try to steal our facts in the middle of the night.” A spokesperson for the Trump administration dismissed such fears, saying that the president merely wanted to keep facts away from certain dangerous people.
Done. I’ve also been hitting up estate sales looking for any kind of book with knowledge in it, especially tables, numbers, conversions, or formulas. I don’t trust our AI riddled internet to tell me how many pints are in a gallon at this point.
Yes, yes, metric system blah blah. I didn’t choose the system, I just make brownies with it.
4 quarter gallons to the gallon, 2 pints to the quart, 2 cups to the pt, 8 US fluid Ounces to the cup, 2 table spoons to the floz, 3 teaspoon to the tbsp, 5 ml to the tsp.
Oh, and a HAndLe is a HALf gallon, and a FIFTH is one FIFTH of a gallon. You can remember that because it starts with ha for half, and fifth for fifth.