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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 month ago

Nation capable of spotting spurious link between paracetamol and autism still baffled by obvious link between guns and mass shootings

newsthump.com

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Nation capable of spotting spurious link between paracetamol and autism still baffled by obvious link between guns and mass shootings

newsthump.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 month ago
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  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    1 month ago

    I mean, it can’t be the guns. Guns don’t kill people. It must be the bullets. Those are what will kill ya.

    • Sundray@lemmus.org
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      1 month ago

      Since politicians seem to care more about this fully survivable condition than the #1 cause of death for children and teenagers, maybe someone should invent a bullet that gives kids autism. They’ll finally implement some gun control then.

      • Railcar8095@piefed.social
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        1 month ago

        Easy. Lace them with ibuprofen.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        1 month ago

        Patsy’s Magic Autistic Bullet

    • ceenote@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I would be willing to compromise with the 2A fanatics by implementing background checks on bullet purchases, instead of gun purchases.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        1 month ago

        I’d be down to do things the Chris Rock way and make a single bullet cost $5000.

        “Damn. He musta did something! Dude put $50,000 worth of bullets in his ass!”

      • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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        1 month ago

        Hmm, lots of gun nuts make their own ammo though…

        • justadudeingear@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          i knew one. one handed joe.

      • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca
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        1 month ago

        You can make your own bullets.

        • onslaught545@lemmy.zip
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          1 month ago

          You can also make your own gun.

          • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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            1 month ago

            Yes but doing so is a lot more complicated and error-prone. Most people don’t have metal smithing equipment at home, or the space or training to use it to manufacture a useful gun. Plus operating an unregistered firearm is illegal in most places.

            By contrast you can just buy an ammo reload kit with all the necessary tools. You can do this at a dining table or a desk or a kitchen counter, it doesn’t take a lot of space, and you can learn to do it in an afternoon. And it’s legal in the US to own those kits and pack your own ammo, and you don’t need a license to reload for personal use, only for distributing.

            • onslaught545@lemmy.zip
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              1 month ago

              You don’t need all of that to make a gun. You just need a 3D printer. Shit, all you really need is a pipe, hammer, and nail.

              • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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                1 month ago

                Sure, if you only want to fire it once and you don’t really care if it hits what you’re aiming at.

            • Alenalda@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              Tell that to shinzo abe

      • wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io
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        1 month ago

        You can keep the gun, I just want the Bulleits.

      • F_State@midwest.social
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        1 month ago

        Yeah, but what that will mean in practice is “Oh, you’re trans or gay, no bullets. Oh, you’re leftist, no bullets. Oh, your liberal or insufficiently conservative, no bullets”

    • Zachariah@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      • Kernal64@sh.itjust.works
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        30 days ago

        Holy crap, is that a Sledge Hammer reference in the wild?! I didn’t think anyone else remembered that show!

    • justadudeingear@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      welp better than undercover nurses with ungodly substances in their syringes

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